Hinduism defines four stages of life and advocates certain rules for the success of those 4 stages. Indeed, these 4 stages are so true in today’s society as well. All of us go through these 4 stages though we do not necessarily honor the rules of the first stage. The first stage is Brahmacharya when we are studying or getting education. Hinduism says that abstinence from sexual matters is essential in order to be successful at learning. The second stage is grihastya or the life of a householder when we get a job, and have a family. The third stage is vanaprastha or “retired life” where one gradually withdraws from the world, freely shares wisdom with others, and prepares for the complete renunciation of the final stage. The final stage is “sanyasa” or the rejection of society and complete withdrawal. It requires rejection of the household duties and responsibilities of all stages of life. It also requires the rejection of the religious beliefs. The ceremony making one a sannyasin includes the burning of copies of the Vedas, the religious texts, which is a symbolic rejection even of one’s role in maintaining the cosmos, and of one’s red thread, the symbol of their status as brahmin. It is such a powerful rejection that a person even loses their caste affiliation. This last stage whether we like it or not will come eventually, when we will be left alone or almost alone. Yes, we may get the occasional calls from a son or a daughter or a well-wisher, but we should not delude ourselves that this loneliness will fall on all of us, whether we like it or not. Hinduism defines it as something you need to welcome, which will come to you and something you need to prepare for, and also defines what you need to do in this fourth stage of life. Well I am still in the second stage of life but it is still sobering to dwell upon and I just find it amazing that Hinduism defined these stages so clearly and they are indeed so true.
Loving God as a Hindu December 20, 2008
I love Hinduism because it makes me one with this world, one with all the people, one with nature and God. It does not say that if I am a Hindu, I can only associate with other Hindus and love only other Hindus and if they are not Hindus, then God does not love them and they will burn in hell. I like the inclusive nature of Hinduism. Logic aside, Hinduism is also an ancient religion, with many beautiful rituals and traditions that come with it. These define the culture of India. Some say that there are too many rituals and they are not needed, but I believe they are. The rituals are a connection to our past, our roots, our history. They connect society and help us to focus on God. I believe we cannot achieve oneness with God and this earth by reading about God, and discussing God with others. To most Hindus God is personal. We do not find it easy to discuss God and the scriptures with each other. Scripture reading is part but not the only way to pay obeisance to God for Hindus. The rituals are as important as reading the scriptures, doing something for God, to show that we care for him in a similar way that we care for the ones who are near and dear to us. Feeding, bathing, clothing the image of God is the Hindu way of showing we care for you, O Lord, and just as we care for you, we will care for our children and our old parents. In the Bible, God apparently said that “Thou shalt not make a image of me in clay, copper or any earthly material” (Not an exact statement but of the same essence) and that “It is detestable to me”. This is where there is no reconciliation between Hinduism and Christianity. It is now a question of whether I choose to believe this statement as coming from God or whether distorted and written down by human hands, or some philosopher who thought that rituals is not important. And I believe that these are not words from God because to me these words sound harsh, and my God cannot be so harsh. I choose to pay obeisance to my ancestors, and to continue to bring flowers to the feet of the image of my God smiling at me tenderly.
Hindu scriptures : The Vedas, Upanishads, Gita, Mahabharata and the many many others also inspire me, but that is a blog for another day.
Consciense, God and knowing right from wrong November 17, 2008
While discussing the pros and cons of the abortion issue with a pro-lifer we got into a discussion of how we can tell things right from wrong, unless we appeal to a higher authority, who has told us what is right and wrong which is then written into a textbook, for example, the bible as referred to by christians. And since man is incapable of judging what is right or wrong in this world, we should refer to “the book”, for literally, “everything”.
His argument was that Hitler, for example, did not appeal to “the book” but listened to his conscience and killed jews, which we now “know” is wrong. His argument is that Hitler convinced himself and others that he was doing right and therefore he did what he did. I thought Hitler and they were christians and they did refer to “the book”. So, firstly, how come “the book” did not tell them it was wrong to kill jews? On the other hand, one can argue that Hitler knew what he was doing was wrong and yet he did it what he did. Man does not do everything “knowing” that he is right. If that were so, then man would be an angel. Man does wrong things “knowing” he is doing wrong. Book of Genesis says that man became like God, “knowing” right from wrong. A man like Hitler can read the bible, 1000 times, yet he would commit wrong. The answer to why this is so lies in the Vedas. Vedas say that this is because that man is not in control of his “ego”, because that man is not in control of his “anger”. Anger, ego and our five senses control us and God gave these for us to control. Man “chooses” to be good or bad. God cannot control that. We can think of God as our guide, friend, father. We can choose to listen to the voice of our conscience as the voice of God or we can choose not to. But the choice is ultimately ours. Hitler “chose” to do wrong. I believe God has empowered man to know right from wrong. In fact because man came to know right from wrong, “he fell” according to God. But the fact remains that man knows right from wrong very easily. He knows it from a very simple proverb which we use to teach our children to distinguish right from wrong “Do unto others that you would have done unto you”. Yes, its that easy.
Barack Obama is beyond race November 7, 2008
President elect Obama is beyond race. His mother was white and his father was an african, not an african american.
He could have looked white or black, but mother nature chose black, and I suppose his looks qualify him to be called an african-american. I don’t see the logic though. In any case, even if he is a african american, which he is not, he is beyond race. He just has some special greatness because of which he is where he is now and because I don’t have that something special, I am instead writing about him 
. He caught the imagination of people all over the world, not only black americans, not only white americans, but all over. I am not an american, I am an Indian, but I could identify with what he talked about. Because he talked about humanity, about believing in the inherent goodness of human being, no matter what race, religion, culture, creed or color, young, old, gay, straight, rich, poor, he always used those words. His message of unity triumphed over the most cynical of minds. Because he could believe, he led us to believe. I am not sure if can make change happen, I don’t know when it will happen, but he had the courage to say that he will try to make it happen, and that he believes he can do it. And we along with him will continue to try and continue to believe, that we can make it happen. I am not a citizen of USA, so I could not vote though I have been here almost 10 years now but I believe if change can come to America, perhaps someday it can also come to my beloved country, India. We need change in many ways there too. America, yes, you did. Yes, we can too.
Safe abortion – A medical miracle. October 30, 2008
I am pro-abortion upto a point where the baby does not have a chance to live outside the womb. Centuries ago we did not have this choice, and women were abused and made pregnant through rape, incest, unloved sex, and had no choice but to give birth to a baby born out of lust, and not out of love. Now, science has given women thechoice, the choice to give birth to a baby she has an emotional attachment for, which was born out of a loving, consensual union.
People who are pro-life forget that God did not give sanction to an unholy union like rape or incest. Would god want a baby born out of an unholy union. It was perhaps God who led us to discover a safe way to terminate the result of an evil act and save the victim further ghastly trauma. It is cruel and sad to not let this embryo form into a baby but it is even more cruel to bring the baby to life and the mother to abandon the baby and give him/her away to an unknown person. God also wanted the baby to have its right to his/her natural parents. If we live in a corrupted society, where we cannot do this, where women are made pregnant before marriage out of the irresponsibilty of lustful men, where women are raped and If we cannot give a baby this god-given right of his/her natural parents, then we are not an ideal society in the first place. Women are not machines to give birth to children all their lives and be a prey to lust. If God could lead us to electricity, cars, machines, which have radically changed our lives, God has also led our doctors to make this world a safer place for women, through safe abortion techniques. It has also made the world a happier place for babies, where babies who come into this world, can get full attention of their parents, and can hope to have a healthy, happy life, cared for by their natural parents.
To me the quality of life we can give to a baby is more important than just giving it life. Producing 10 children and not being able to give each of them the best care that they deserve is worse than choosing to produce only 2 children. And sometimes contraception does fail but one’s economic status does not change, because contraception failed. Without the choice of abortion in such cases, is like penalizing the couple and the baby who has to live on this earth without the quality of life that he/she deserves until he/she dies. Giving the baby away to richer people is not an answer to this. We rather not have baby making machines and treating babies like commodities. Its better not to bring such a life into this world, in the first place. If abortion is banned, adoptions will be on the rise for sure and if this becomes a norm, then perhaps one day we won’t even have adoption but will find it normal, to bring babies into this world and have some kind of a community care for babies instead of babies being cared for by their parents in their homes.
Carrying this discussion on further and in response to some of the comments to this post :
I thank everyone who responded and have shared their opinions on this post. At the same time I am surprised (I don’t like to use the word horrified, though in my heart that’s what I am) at some of the responses. Some of you have prayed that God have mercy on my soul but really you should be praying that God have mercy on your souls. You have interpreted God’s word for your convenience and taken things too far.
You hypocritically show concern for a mass of tissues which has no life until a certain point and show absolutely no concern towards a real living being, a woman who has been tortured, and raped or a woman who has been subjected to incest. You have not felt the torment she would feel in having a growth in her body which she did not ask for, which she feels no love for, which she perhaps feels is merely a cancer or a tumor. It is not an ideal thing to happen, but it is best to terminate such a pregnancy upto a certain point of gestational age as researched and advocated by medicine. The society we live in is not the society that man was born into centuries ago. We did not have for example electricity, internet, heating and all the conveniences we take for granted now. Its a convenience that man’s brain and science led him too. Perhaps it was God who led man to discover these things to better our lives, we don’t know, as someone put it. In a similar fashion it was God who led medicine to the point it is now, where we can save people who have cardiac arrests, or tuberculosis or many such diseases which we could not have done anything about, centuries ago. In a similar fashion, I believe medicine discovered the differences between a real baby and a fetus (when it is just a mass of tissues) which has led us to offer comfort to women who need it for health reasons or other reasons, and have a choice in the life she wants to bring to this world, where we don’t need to produce 10 or 12 children whom we cannot care for properly but are able to have as many children as we can give our full undivided attention to. Contraception is another medical miracle, which again science has given us but if contraception fails, the only option is a safe termination of the pregnancy
A more serious repurcussion to society is that most likely a woman who produces such a baby born out of lust or some trauma will give the baby away after undergoing all the pangs and pains and the sickness and the changes in her body that is asscoiated with having a baby (with 9 months, almost a year taken out of her life). As for the tenet of christian forgiveness, one can forgive, but one cannot forgive a rapist or an abuser. And all such babies will not be adopted. Some of these babies will languish in adoption homes or orphanages. And such unloved children would perhaps be the future sex offenders, serial killers and criminals of our society. Pro-lifers who are advocating adoption over abortion are the abettors of these criminals, you are the ones who have no sympathy for the woman or the babies who are brought into this world and for society in general. They are no better than fanatic muslim mullahs who want to keep women in black veils to be used and abused at the will of men.
In Love with Obama October 29, 2008
I have to declare that I have fallen in love with Obama. It did not happen suddenly but he just crept up on me. When I heard his speeches, I was awestruck. It was as if someone had taken my thoughts and was voicing them in public. They were an echo of my thoughts. He immediately struck a chord. I wanted to hear more from Obama. But I could not get enough. CNN always seemed to focus on Mccain and Palin. And all I had was CNN on my cable. And then I got to see more of him, on “OBAMA TV”, see him up close and personal, hear him speaking his thoughts himself and see his charming smile. And that was the defining moment. I know that this world would change under Obama. Some are calling him a “messiah”. I think its not to be taken lightly. He is one hell of a powerful person but fortunately for the world, he is a peacemaker. I hope that he will unite this world for the first time! Religion has been dividing us, leading us to bloody wars, and violence against each other. Obama will not only change America but will change the world. He has this power. He will bring this world together. Yes, there will be an apocalypse. And the apocalypse would be that we would see hugs, and smiles and flowers and no more guns. That is what I see when I look into Obama’s eyes. I see a world that I and others like me have been craving for. An idyllic, peaceful, green world, a world that can still be saved. A world that will be the way it was intended to be before it lost its way somewhere down the lane. It will be another new era, a melting of the ice age, melting of the ice that we have within our hearts. I love you Obama, and I pray for you and I hope with all my heart that you will be the president of USA.
ICHEP tales October 20, 2008
I just came back from the ICHEP 2008 conference held in Philadelphia, PA. After a long time in my life, it
looks like stars were shining in the heaven for me, and the journey went off without a hitch. We flew by
American Airlines. And they were so good. No delays at all. Both ways. Sarthak, my baby boy slept like
a dream for the entire two hours while I browsed through the “Sky Mall”. He cried a lot before flying but
then slept off while sucking on a bottle and then woke up all smiles after the plane had landed. Whew!
Journey to the hotel : We had already reserved a standard SUV and were all set when arriving at the
rental agency. We even got GPS at a discounted price cos the agent was an Indian..Yoo Hoo..And the
GPS was fun. I was skeptical at first but then got used to it. I had alredy gotten directions to the hotel,
from the airport and we just followed it and voila there it was, Philadelphia University Sheraton Hotel.
But it wasn’t much to look at inside though. We were almost in for a bit of trouble when I asked them if
they had the adjacent rooms and they hadn’t. So, I asked them what they could so that we could all
be together but get a big room, like a suite or something..and guess what! We got a family suite! And the
baby crib. There was a dividing door between the living and the bedroom and huge big dining room all to
ourselves! Barnali was so excited to see two flat screen TV’s on top of that! The view was great. Well, it
was a view of the city. No lakes or mountains. But views of highrise buildings and the street below from
the 8th floor cause that’s where we were. Big Windows letting the afternoon light in.
We found Barnali’s daycare center where she would be staying during the mornings so one of us could
manage the baby while the other one attended the meetings. And yes the talks went off smoothly too.
Mine was on a Thursday and his was on a Friday. Thankfully they were not in the same session, otherwise,
we would have had to ask the coordinators to make some changes..
I loved the city. Its the sight of human faces which was relaxing. And birds on the streets.
Nanhi Pari (Tiny fairy) July 28, 2008
Today I got the news of the arrival of my niece, Megha. After 7 or 8 long years of waiting for a child, my sister is a mom! Its a day of unspeakable joy for my parents and me and her family. Nutan called me around 10:30 USA time on Oct 10th, and told me the good news. Megha was born about 5:00 PM, Dubai time. She called me from her hospital bed, just 1 and 1/2 hour after the delivery, sounding quite strong and well. I hope to see the baby in a few days over webcam. Apparently, the day was very cloudy in Dubai, and so finally we decided on Megha. Interestingly, it was very cloudy here in USA as well. Cloudy and windy with low temperature of 55 deg. F. My parents were with her during the delivery. The night before I could not sleep well. My brain was too active with many thoughts all the time. Anyway, the little fairy is here, in our lives, and I hope she would bring all the love and closeness in my sister’s life that she has wished for. I pray for her and wish her all the best in my heart.
Child rearing problems in America October 10, 2007
Here, I discuss a sensitive topic, and my perception of what I feel is wrong with child rearing in USA. Definitely, some bias in thoughts is possible since I come from a different country, but as an outsider I am perhaps even in a better position to write about the culture here, which is foreign to me, and only through the eyes of the outsider can a community learn what is wrong with it, and how it can improve. There are many things that Indians need to learn from USA and the west in general but that’s another blog for another day.
I have been in the USA since 1999 which makes it now 7 years now and I have given this country my best productive years from the age of 28-36 and I have had a chance to observe the people here very closely both personally and professionally. In this blog, I discuss the problems specific to child rearing, but I feel there are a number of other problems beseeching this society. Some problems which I view as problems may not even be perceived as a problem by an average american, but here goes..
High divorce rates,Teenage sex and pregnancy,Use of guns and violence in schools and elsewhere, High rate of inhuman crimes like serial killing and murders, Psychiatric problems among children and adults, detachment of children and parents at an early age, lonely elders in old homes, low level of emotions among adults and loss of general human courtesy when dealing with each other (I will explain this later and why I think this is so), high materialism.
Child rearing problems and defects
I have analysed some aspects of how children are brought up in this country and I think a good way to understand where there are flaws is to compare with the same issues in my country, India. The differences are obvious from the infant stage. In India and elsewhere the children are kept closer to their mothers. They co-bed or sleep with their mothers. Here most people put their children in crib which is a concept of alienation from the very first. The natural dependence of babies on their parents is something that has to be encouraged and not discouraged. Many parents believe in ferberizing and letting infants cry for prolonged hours which I believe is extremely harmful. By age of two or three children are encouraged to start feeding independantly. Question is, does this really benefit the child or the mother ? Is it really necessary to make the child independant at ages 2 or 3? In the daycares, children of ages 3 or 4 are taught how to wear their own jackets and daycare givers are not willing to help such small children with this. Again, does this benefit the child or the daycare giver. In India, most children would be fed by their mothers until ages 5 or 6 and helped with taking bath and dressing them till that age as well. Does this mean Indian children are unable to dress themselves by age 8? Obviously not, when the time is right, even without any practice children will start performing tasks like eating themselves and dressing themselves. One does not need to start as early as 2 or 3 years old. As the mother cares for the child, it fosters closeness between the child and the parent and I believe it is something the child remembers in his grown up ears as flashes, about the care his/her mother gave him. To make a child independant by age 3 or 4, causes a hardening and loss of emotions which continues further as they grow. I have seen children 4 or 5 years old, fixing simple breakfasts for themselves, taking out milk and getting cereal etc. This is not comprehensible in India.
The concept of independence of children is also carried too far. It seems the children are being asked to “decide” at very young ages, when their minds are really not ready to “decide” but rather need “guidance”. For example, in restaurants I have seen parents asking, “what would you like to eat” to children as young as 2-5 years old. I believe this is not needed at this age. Rather the children at this age should look upto their parents and elders and wait for their advise on these matters. The parents should decide what is best for their child in terms of food, clothing, what games to play etc. A child is not the same as an “adult” and does not need to be treated as such. Rather the child should be taught that there are elders and parents whom they can and should look towards for guidance when they are young. Parents reinforce their authority and respect by deciding on the above matters as well and which in the long run is good for every individual. Instead, in this country, it seems parents are just child-rearing machines, and the child has to instead look for another authority (perhaps God?) for guidance instead of his parents. Lack of adults to look upto for decisions leads to insecurity in a child’s mind, and in their teenage years, a complete chaos. It is too late to show your authority when they really need it for important matters, like if they get into errant ways or into drugs or smoking, if you haven’t expressed your authority and strength at very early ages. They simply won’t consider parents worth listening to.
Fermilab Film Society July 14, 2007
Yesterday night was Fermilab’s film society night. We actually made a profit, which was good but the audience we are getting leaves a lot of questions on the place of art and culture in US of A. The film society is feeling more and more like some relic of the past, as the general audience age group we are getting is 60+ with a sprinkling of the younger audience, mostly us the volunteers of the society and a few other physicists. The ratio would be 10:100, or 1%. It seems cinema or “international” cinema is dying or is dead within the US. I have tried to motivate the Fermilab community to attend the shows in an attempt to revitalize the society, but it has not had any affect so far. It seems I would be unable to make a difference, as I fight a losing battle and increasingly give up hope. It seems people have lost the interest to care or learn about other cultures, and people here are becoming increasingly self-centered even as the world around us changes and gets closer. I read an article today about the “decline and demise of foreign cinema in USA” , which may well apply to our case. But the problem is not just limited to american audience in general. Why is the general physicist community not interested either? A large part of this community is international and coming from various countries around the globe and I am part of this community. Agreed we are physicists, and are involved in the serious business of solving the mysteries of nature, but we are also part of humanity, and have a role to play in shaping society, thoughts and taking a general interest in human interaction. Why this apathy among our young (or senior) physicists who it seems are not interested to learn about humanity and the issues facing the world around us, which is what meaningful cinema strives for. Why is it that the few of us who volunteered to carry on the activities of this society, are indeed, just the few among both senior and junior physcicists, who actually attend these films and are part of what it seems a minority mindset? I am currently baffled and the answer eludes me. What would I like to see happen? a) I would like to see the general non-Fermilab audience to change. I would like movers and shakers of America, the younger generation in the age-group of 30-50 to take an interest in world culture, and arts b) I would like physicists to take an interest to learn the cultural aspect of each other through these films. Only then can the physicist community perform even better than what it is doing now, shake off prejudices, reduce petty politics and biases, and become even closer-knit and in so doing develop proffessional relationships which may not be developing due to culture or regional biases, and association which may have been successful and produced even greater results in physics helping us unravel the mysteries of the forces surrounding us. When will it happen? Will it happen? I don’t know. I hope it will. Changes happen. It takes time but it does happen. And on that note…..I end it here.
